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Okay, I'm too bogged down to do a proper blog, but here's a poem I wrote yesterday for my students' poetry unit test. They had to analyze one poem they'd studied in class and another (this one) that they'd never seen before.
It’s spring outside and I’m trapped in here
With evil teenagers: snarling zombies hungering
For brains. They lurch lazily through the door like
They’re stop-motion animated clay reindeer
In an ancient Christmas special in which they sing
About helping an evil Santa deliver a broken toy or bike.
When it’s cold and rainy with April showers
They whine and complain constantly as if
I were making them offer up their firstborn
Child for an experiment to gain super powers
And all they get in return is a salmonella-infested jar of Jiff
So they whimper and sniffle and look forlorn.
Then the sun comes out and their attention spans shrivel
And they twitch in their seats like cats watching birds
Through a window, because they too are trapped in here
With me, their prison warden, and my lessons are drivel:
As useless as a silver dinner platter full of stinky turds
So why in the name of Zeus did I choose this career?
Because their complaints feed the darkness within me
And their groans of agony are my gourmet steak dinners
Served up for me to feast upon daily. Fortunately I have no soul
Otherwise I would be as huge as a gas guzzling SUV
And among complaint collectors I am the winner
Because their eye-rolling, sigh-heaving is my goal.